No longer a guru, and never again Mr. Aaron

Ok so this is it from the Pesantren, I had my last class yesterday and now it's just saying goodbye and wrapping things up. This is the last post from here and the next one will be sent from elsewhere; wow where has the time gone?!

This last week has been spent mostly getting ready, packing things up, giving things away, trying not to be too bored. And also dealing with crying high school girls…

I am really surprised at how hard some of the people here are taking my leaving. I expected Daya to tear up a little bit, but she’s been sobbing at times and many of the students are sad too. I don’t feel I’ve been that close with anyone here, but they seem to feel otherwise! Part of it is certainly culture. People aren’t individuals here, they are part of a collective and people rarely leave (not sure if that is a cause or an effect). The result is that they almost feel like part of them is leaving. Thus, they get pretty upset. This is the opposite of me; I’m excited to leave because I’m looking forward traveling, but also because I have not felt as close to them as they apparently felt to me. That sounds really sad, but I must be honest there just isn’t that connection here. The culture is just a little too different; I have been unable to completely act how I normally would. So maybe that’s why they’re upset, they’ve only seen my ‘nice’ side : )

Also contributing to them being sad at my leaving is the status at which they place me. This is something I really don’t understand. I think it must be a cultural thing, but I cannot fathom why almost all Indonesians get so excited when they see a bule (as evidence: the number of ‘hello misters’). Compare this to the US: do we get excited when we see a foreigner? Hardly! Simply because I can speak English I am treated like a rock star here. Why is that? I really don’t know, but to me it’s stunningly weird. I don’t deserve (or particularly want) all this attention and adoration. And I really don’t want (and haven’t really taken) the responsibility that comes with it.

All of this attention has made it readily apparent, that despite my self-centeredness, it isn’t all about me! In fact my time here really has been about the people I interact with and encounter. But this also brings up another point of my experience here. At times I have felt quite hypocritical because while I realize it’s not all about me, I seem to be babying myself quite a bit, doing whatever I feel like doing, rather than forcing myself to do something that might be more beneficial for those around me. In addition, I’ve found out how important being social is to me, yet I hide in my room and don’t communicate with people a lot (again babying myself/being lazy). It’s kind of a weird situation and I’ve been writing off most of my actions as being in such an unreal situation. I guess I’ll find out if that is true or not pretty soon when I leave here.

Speaking of leaving, here is the itinerary for the next 3 months. I leave the pesantren on the 29th, head directly to the Makassar airport, fly to Jakarta and then on to Singapore. I’ll spend 2 nights in Singapore before flying to Manila, Philippines. There, I’ll meet Steph and we’ll first travel up north to the 2,000 year old rice terraces and surrounding beauty of the Cordilleras. After that, we’ll jet down south to a supposedly pretty remote tropical paradise (ok maybe that’s a bit hyperbole) called Palawan. We’ll eventually be flying out to Singapore where we will take a night in the airport before going on to Phuket, Thailand. We’ll chill in the south for a week before heading up to Steph’s new/temporary home in the northeast of Thailand. After helping her get settled, I’m going to go explore Laos for a week and half or so before flying down to Kuala Lumpur to meet mom on July 14. Mom and I will then check out Cambodia for 5 days and return to see Borneo and Peninsula Malaysia until August 16 when mom will return to the States. At that point I’ll go….somewhere. I’m leaving this open; I’ll find something to do I’m sure! I’ll eventually get back to the US on the 28th of August after 3 months of backpacking!

I’m really looking forward to exploring SE Asia and comparing the different countries to Indonesia. I am particularly interested to see the area not through the prism of Islam. As I think about it, the influence of Islam hasn’t been as strong when I’ve travelled Indonesia as it has in my day-to-day life here in an Islamic boarding school (surprise!). Now, I straight away plan things around prayer times, and taking off my shoes is 2nd nature, as is not eating pork or drinking (oh how I’ve missed you beer and bacon!). It will be nice to be out of here in some ways. As another ETA described it: Indonesian culture is constantly draped over you like a heavy blanket. There’s never anything blatantly said or forced upon you, but after a full day, or 8 months, you find yourself tired and hunched over from its weight. Unless you’ve been here it’s hard to understand.

It’s a little sad to think all of this is coming to an end, but every time I start feeling sad the power goes out or there is a call to prayer overpowering my music or someone screams ‘hello mister’ and I realize that, as is the norm for me, it’s time to move on…